"But he's such a nice guy"

A few days ago I had a conversation with someone I know, Mr. S. The topic was the sexual molestation allegations against Yehuda Kolko. Mr. S is Kolko's age and grew up with him in Boro Park. He was so livid about all the allegations against Kolko. He kept saying Kolko is the nicest guy I know, all these people just have personal vendettas against him. I asked Mr. S, who is not in any way part of the yeshiva community nor is affiliated with any of the institutions that Kolko is affiliated with, how he doesnt even have an inkling of doubt about Kolko, how forty years of allegations doesnt put an inkling of doubt of some misconduct. He refused to believe that Kolko had a bad bone in his body and that he is innocent because he is "such a nice guy." He adamantly maintains that all the allegations are false and that Kolko is the real victim.

It dawned on me that the reason Kolko was allowed to go nearly forty years molesting boys without getting "caught" was because people are so blinded by a nice word. Mr. S is not in any way shape or form part of Kolko's community but because he knew him as such a nice guy, who always had a nice thing to say to him, he is innocent. It's scary to think that if someone who is not part of Kolko's tight knit religious community can be blinded and not see the truth, how much more so are the people who are in Kolko's inner circle. Many people in Kolko's community revere him as a respected man and that there is no way that a person of such stature would ever abuse little boys. This must be a figment of the imagination of the accusers who are all out to get Kolko.

Here is where that little thing called common sense kicks in. There are some allegations that are so heinous that it should raise a red flag to anyone when someone is charged with this type of crime. There has to be cause for someone to be charged with a crime. Lots of time and effort is spent on investigating and obtaining an arrest warrant. Thus, it cant be that Kolko was sitting home eating cholent and minding his own business and he got arrested. He must have done something to warrant an arrest. If someone has child molestation allegations against them, it should raise a red flag, no matter how nice, religious, charitable etc the person is. People need to use common sense and realize that while Kolko may portray a nice persona to some people, he is a monster to others.

If I was married to someone and deeply in love with the person and allegations of child molestation arose, he would be out the door so fast, it's probably one of the only things I would get divorced over. Even if it's never proven. If you are really innocent, you don't put yourself into situations where allegations could even arise. I used to teach very hormonal 7th and 8th graders and the boys in the class always wanted to give me hugs. I had a policy that I did not touch the students, all the students and the other teachers knew that, further, I was never in a situation when I would be alone with a student. There are ways to keep yourself out of being falsely accused if you really are innocent.